I don't hate the cow per say, but I do hate that one of their bodily fluids has almost completely infiltrated American and European food all the way from haute cuisine down to fast food. That's right folks. I suffer from LACTOSE INTOLERANCE! It suuucks! It has especially put a damper on my weekend (seeing how I spent a good portion of it in the restroom).
Now some of you may be saying, "Why don't you just stop eating dairy?" Well, that would seem like an easy solution, but if you'd been eating dairy products your entire life (up until three years ago when the problem suddenly developed) it would be a difficult task to give them up, and it doesn't help that they are an integral part of many everyday foods.
There is also the social aspect that I have to deal with. When you're out with friends and they all want to order a pizza, I get to be the one to say "Sorry guys, I can't eat cheese" and then we all spend more time finding a compatable food choice. Also, when your a guest in someone's home, they often times offer hor d'oeuvres or snack foods, and frequently they include cheese or butter. First of all, it's rude not to try what is offered and secondly (at least with my friends) things usually look pretty tasty. So, let's say I try one. Within about 30 minutes I get to experience what feels like a nuclear explosion going off in my digestive tract. I am then faced with 3 choices. I can leave the party, sit and suffer through nausea and stomach cramps, or use the bathroom (and probably have the friends present not want to be friends with me anymore). What fun!
I know I'm on a rant and that it may not be completely coherent (I do apologize), but sometimes you just have to let the frustration out. For all of you who can tolerate dairy, pour a tall glass out for your homey.
(Side Note: In the search to find a solution, I've tried Lactaid and the like. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If anyone has any unique or interesting ideas to help cure me, feel free to pass them on. The quest continues!)
7 comments:
That cow looks very sad that he is hurting your belly.
Mmmm! Cheeeeeeese. Good.
let's face it. he (the cow) does look quite apologetic.
i think the cow looks pretty hostile actually and let's not forget that a he would not be the gender that needs to give leah an apology.
poor leah's belly...i hope i'm not struck by the intolerance but anytime EVER because i LOVE my dairy.
Ha, ha, ha. How very right you are, Kristen! I just automatically assume it's a "he" when it's someone being mean. :)
drink more beer!
i hate the cow too, and raspberries, and bandaids, and all living growing plants
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